Saturday, December 12, 2009

Carter-Man is still fighting

Good Morning, Crusaders! I wanted to post a little update. There really has been no significant changes. Yesterday was a very difficult day for Skip and I. The day started with G-tube issues. When I gave Carter his 8 o'clock morphine and ativan, I did not notice that the gauze around his G-tube was wet. At 9 o'clock when the hospice nurse arrived, we both noticed it was soaked. We did some investigating and realized that the tube was leaking, meaning he was not getting all of his medicine. We also realized that Carter's GI system has slowed dramatically....he is not absorbing much of anything. Luckily, Carter does still have a PICC line. The only problem was that we only had IV ativan, not morphine. Our hospice nurse took care of ordering that and told us we should receive it later in the day and until then we could go ahead and try using the G-tube. Although, we had not been feeding Carter a lot, we had been giving him water. Without the G-tube, we cannot give water flushes or food. I realize we are at the point that Carter is not hungry but from the moment your child is born, your maternal instinct kicks in to feed your child. When they are sick, you want them to eat...you NEVER want your child to feel hunger....eating provides nourishment, vitamins,energy and all the essentials of daily living. It was very hard for me to realize that I can no longer feed my child. This led to a very difficult day. We did not receive his IV morphine until 8:30 pm last night. This was the first day that we saw issues with pain management..something NO CHILD OR PARENT should have to experience. Nonetheless, we managed to get through and were able to give him IV medicine starting at 10:00 pm last night. He had a good night, although his heart rate is all over the place. Before, it was very low, now it has shot back up again. I would imagine this is due to the tumor continuing to progress on the brain stem, thus affecting his heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. His breathing has definitely changed this morning. He almost sounds like he is puffing rather than breathing. He has large periods of apnea, sometimes almost a complete minute of no breaths taken. Carter has beaten all odds and for that we are thankful. We are thankful that we have been able to stay on top of his pain and agitation. We are thankful that he has not thrown up. We are thankful that we have escaped any skin breakdown throughout this journey. Carter has now been strictly in the bed for 7 weeks and still no breakdown. HE IS ONE TOUGH COOKIE!!! Although we are in the middle of the worst thing that any parent can experience, at the worst time of year (which is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year), we are still thankful for many things. This is a true reflection of the inner strength that God has given us. Our hospice nurse told us that Carter could pass at anytime. His lungs are clear but it is obvious that his body is slowing down significantly. Throughout the night, his breathing has changed. As the weekend progresses, I will keep everyone posted!! As always, thank you for your continued prayers, love, and support!

8 comments:

beth and melinda said...

praying for you in Herndon VA

Kari said...

What a testament! God is faithful and his strength is definitely enveloping you. We are still praying for Carter, Caroline, you and Skip. My prayer through this is that God will continue to hold you and support you. His peace surround you, and his comfort wrap you in HIS arms. Only God truly knows the sorrow and pain you are feeling. I still believe that through all of this Carter's journey will and has drawn so many people to Christ.

My love to you all!
Karicalif

E said...

God bless you all. We praying without ceasing.

-Liz Sanz

JODI AND ADAM said...

Courtie--
You need to write a book because you are an inspiration to everyone. I love you so much and I am here with you through the tough times.
Sharon has been praying for all the children you follow--she has a list next to her prayer book.

XXOO LOVE YOU

Neha said...

I am not surprised to hear that Carter-Man is still fighting- he has always been such a fighter and so incredibly strong. Every time I go to work and pass by his old room, I think of him and of you all. That will always be Carter's room to me.

All of you are in my thoughts and prayers- although I am so glad that you have this time at home with Carter, we miss you!

<3, Neha

P.S. Go 'Skins! (not that my cheering has done any good this season)

miclip said...

Praying for peace for Carter-man and the entire family.

Jennifer R. said...

Lifting you all up in prayer during this difficult time. My stepfather died from brain cancer last year so I know what a beast it is, and I was with him during the last hours.

tburchell97 said...

Courtney- you are an amazing inspiration. I can't imagine the strength and grace the Lord has provided for you. You are a testament to everything the Lord calls mothers to be!! Our love and prayers are with you!