Sunday, February 14, 2010

Carter still shows up at church...... most know, today it has been 2 months since Carter-Man went to be with our Heavenly Father. Just as I said in the last post, things have seemed to be getting harder. Reality is setting in but we continue to move forward. I had not planned on posting today but I could not go without sharing something with you all!! As you all know, we continue to receive messages and signs that Carter is okay. This morning was no different! I was very emotional this morning as Carter loved every holiday, including Valentine's Day. He LOVED his "fweets" (sweets, but Carter had trouble with his S sound)and he knew on Valentine's Day that there was lots of chocolate, candy and cookies circulating! As I gave Caroline her Valentine's Bag, my heart sunk. I loved seeing her as she went through her goodies but boy did I miss seeing his face and listening to him beg and plead to have just ONE piece of chocolate or candy in the morning. I held myself together and proceeded to get ready for church. I cried on the way to church as every song that came on had some meaning to me. I arrived at church, met my mom in the lobby, got Caroline a donut and orange juice and took her to her class. We went in to begin worship and, as always, the music was AWESOME!! The band played my favorite worship song, Mighty to Save! It is actually one of my ring back tones on my cell phone. I, of course, shed more tears. My church always plays neat skits and today was no different. They had a very cute Valentine's skit on the screen and everyone was laughing. The band began to play again and as I heard the song, that lump in my throat appeared, my mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and the tears began to flow freely from my eyes. They began to sing, All My Lovin', by the Beatles. You ask, why would that make you cry. Well....Skip and Carter are HUGE Beatles fans. Skip and Carter's Memaw (my mother-in-law) sang this song to Carter almost EVERY DAY when he was sick. We still sing this song almost every day at my house. It is now one of Caroline's favorites and I will hear her singing it while she is playing. Skip sings it to Caroline and sometimes we all sing it. As I listened to the song, I knew he was there. I knew he was letting me know that he was okay (he probably has more chocolate and candy than we could ever dream of) was like he was saying, "Cheer up, Mom! This place is glorious and I am happier than ever. I am singing with the angels and you, Mom, will be here before you know it"!!! Although tears have still fallen since I left church, I feel peace. I feel more peace today than I have in some time. I am so thankful that I felt Carter's presence at church today. I love my church and it warms my heart to know he is there!!!!!

Thank you my sweet boy for assuring your Mommy that you are okay. I love you and miss you more than any words could ever express. You are forever in my heart!!!! I LOVE YOU, CARTER-MAN!!!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Below you will find an email that was sent out by a friend of mine who is organizing walkers and runners for the Race for Hope in DC on May 2nd. Although you get a t-shirt for registering, I will be working on getting Carter's Crusaders t-shirts or buttons for everyone walking or running for Carter! I hope to see a HUGE turnout!!! If you have any questions, please email me at

Dear Friends and Family,

On Sunday, May 2, 2010, I will be participating in the Race for Hope - DC 5K Run/Walk presented by Cassidy & Pinkard Colliers. The Race for Hope - DC is sure to be both a fun and inspirational event, and supports the National Brain Tumor Society and Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure. I have formed a team to help with the fundraising effort. Will you join it?

My immediate family(including Halle in the childrens race) will be joining me in this walk/run. As some of you know, we lost a dear friend of ours this last month to this horrible disease. Carter Harris was only 6 years old and Halle considered him a close friend, and was very upset with his passing. Because of Carter, we are now familiar with this disease and it's effects on family and friends. That is why I have decided to use the name Carter's Crusaders(with the support of the Harris family) for our team name.

Our goal this year is to raise $2 million for brain tumor research and support services for brain tumor patients and caregivers. We need your help, so please either join my team or make a donation on my behalf. The links are provided below.

Please note that the deadline for online registration is Tuesday, April 27 at 12 noon.

Thank you so much for all of your support and I hope to see you at the Race for Hope- DC!

Click here to visit my personal page.
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Click here to view the team page for Carter's Crusaders
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Click here to view the company page for Carter's Crusaders
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Race for Hope - DC
Presented by Cassidy & Pinkard Colliers
Freedom Plaza - May 2, 2010
To Benefit National Brain Tumor Society &
Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure

Skip and I are so thankful for Kathy Uchytil for doing this! Her daughter, Halle, was in Carter's Kindergarten class and they became very close!!!! Hat off to you, Kathy!!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I want to first apologize for not updating sooner but as you all can imagine life has been crazy over the last almost 2 months. I did want to take time to just briefly update. First of all, CAN YOU BELIEVE ALL OF THIS SNOW???? My family loves it!! I am assuming you have all read the post from Kyle B. on December 18 (the day we laid Carter to rest) regarding the snow. Well, we still believe that our Carter-Man is sending us signs that he is happy and okay. In our area, we are about to break all records for the most amount of snow in a season...HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!! My sweet boy has always been determined and that has not changed apparently. We are enjoying the snow and our time at home together. We have spent a lot of time reflecting and sharing memories of sweet Carter-Man...oh, the memories. That is what keeps us going. On the way home tonight, Alexis and Caroline were in the back seat and we all had thanked Carter-Man for the snow. Alexis then asked if she could say a prayer and ,of course, we said absolutely. Skip and I could not hold back the tears as she prayed and told him how much we loved and missed him and how we tried so hard to make him better but that we knew he was still alive in the arms of God. It was the most touching thing I have heard. Alexis is Carter's oldest friend. They spent the first 2 years of their lives together, as Ashley and I were pregnant at the same time and we did everything together!! Then they went to preschool together at ages 3 and 4. They went to different schools when they entered Kindergarten but their friendship continued and they treasured the time they spent together. Tonight was the first time (other than a sentence here and there) that Alexis has really talked to us about Carter. We cried for a moment and then composed ourselves and at the request of Caroline and Alexis, we jammed to Miley Cyrus!!!! It was a wonderful day and evening! I must tell you that we miss him terribly. With each day, it seems to get more difficult. The reality sets in that he is not here with us, that we are not able to hold him or hear him. Don't get me wrong, we do have good days. But then the grief sets in again and we feel as if our hearts have been hit by a mack truck! We try and stay strong and move ahead. We will never be the same, some of our relationships will never be the same but we continue to trudge along and be there for Caroline. She needs us now more than ever. She had her first counseling session with our Chilren's Pastor and will start Christian Counseling as soon as all this snow leaves us. We encourage her to talk about Carter as much as she wants and she does. We all do! We NEVER want to stop talking about and remembering our sweet boy. He was an amazing child...We miss him terribly!!

Thank you to everyone for their continued love, support, and prayers! You all are amazing! I will update again sooner than later. There are some events coming up that I want to make you all aware of. Time to run now as the girls upstairs are needing my attention!!