Sunday, February 14, 2010

Carter still shows up at church...... most know, today it has been 2 months since Carter-Man went to be with our Heavenly Father. Just as I said in the last post, things have seemed to be getting harder. Reality is setting in but we continue to move forward. I had not planned on posting today but I could not go without sharing something with you all!! As you all know, we continue to receive messages and signs that Carter is okay. This morning was no different! I was very emotional this morning as Carter loved every holiday, including Valentine's Day. He LOVED his "fweets" (sweets, but Carter had trouble with his S sound)and he knew on Valentine's Day that there was lots of chocolate, candy and cookies circulating! As I gave Caroline her Valentine's Bag, my heart sunk. I loved seeing her as she went through her goodies but boy did I miss seeing his face and listening to him beg and plead to have just ONE piece of chocolate or candy in the morning. I held myself together and proceeded to get ready for church. I cried on the way to church as every song that came on had some meaning to me. I arrived at church, met my mom in the lobby, got Caroline a donut and orange juice and took her to her class. We went in to begin worship and, as always, the music was AWESOME!! The band played my favorite worship song, Mighty to Save! It is actually one of my ring back tones on my cell phone. I, of course, shed more tears. My church always plays neat skits and today was no different. They had a very cute Valentine's skit on the screen and everyone was laughing. The band began to play again and as I heard the song, that lump in my throat appeared, my mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and the tears began to flow freely from my eyes. They began to sing, All My Lovin', by the Beatles. You ask, why would that make you cry. Well....Skip and Carter are HUGE Beatles fans. Skip and Carter's Memaw (my mother-in-law) sang this song to Carter almost EVERY DAY when he was sick. We still sing this song almost every day at my house. It is now one of Caroline's favorites and I will hear her singing it while she is playing. Skip sings it to Caroline and sometimes we all sing it. As I listened to the song, I knew he was there. I knew he was letting me know that he was okay (he probably has more chocolate and candy than we could ever dream of) was like he was saying, "Cheer up, Mom! This place is glorious and I am happier than ever. I am singing with the angels and you, Mom, will be here before you know it"!!! Although tears have still fallen since I left church, I feel peace. I feel more peace today than I have in some time. I am so thankful that I felt Carter's presence at church today. I love my church and it warms my heart to know he is there!!!!!

Thank you my sweet boy for assuring your Mommy that you are okay. I love you and miss you more than any words could ever express. You are forever in my heart!!!! I LOVE YOU, CARTER-MAN!!!!

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